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Before settling down in 1984 with third husband Hal Holbrook, now 76, Carter herself had a fondness for younger men. Even so, the actress insisted she and De la Fuente not be shown together in bed.
"That was my one request," says Carter. "When we first started the show I said, 'Let's stay away from that,' because that I felt was the place where it could get mawkish -- where the age difference would all of a sudden not work."
One of the few actresses in her age group who has never stopped working, Carter considers herself lucky, and claims she's not troubled by being the most senior member on the Family Law cast -- a dramatic shift from the anxiety she experienced prior to the start of her 1986-93 sitcom Designing Women.
"I wanted to be identified as Dixie, not the old one," says Carter, who underwent a face-lift in 1986 to compete with younger actresses Annie Potts, Jean Smart and best friend Delta Burke, with whom she reunited in November after a 10-year estrangement. "I didn't mind being the oldest one, but I didn't want to be called that by the multitudes. And they didn't, but if I hadn't been chopped and sewn I guarantee I would have been."
Before she started on Family Law, Carter had her neck liposuctioned, but now insists she's finished with plastic surgery: "I'm not going to cut anymore. I want to look human. And as a comedienne, I've got to have a mobile face."
She may look and act younger than her years, but many of Carter's traditions and beliefs could be viewed by some as old-fashioned, even out of touch. In tonight's Lifetime Intimate Portrait, Carter returns to her hometown of McLemoresville, Tenn. (pop: 311), where she maintains the more than 100-year-old family mansion in which she was born. A true Southerner whose speech is routinely sprinkled with expressions like, "Cross my heart, hope to die," Carter flew the Confederate flag over her home until the mid '90s. It was only at the strong urging of her then college-age daughter that Carter begrudgingly lowered what is viewed by some as a symbol of Southern pride, and by others, a hurtful reminder of slavery and bigotry.
"When Mary Dixie came home from Harvard, she told me I had to take it down, and it really hurt my feelings," recalls Carter. "One of her roommates was African American and was coming for a visit. Mary Dixie was ashamed. I think she misunderstood what I was flying it for. There was nothing racial in me raising it. I'm proud of the Confederate flag, which to me means being a Southerner. There was a lot of conversation, and it took me a week to give in."
Not nearly as brazen as one might expect, Carter is (or works very hard to lead you to believe she is) a softy. Family Law co-star Quinlan recalls her first meeting with Carter in the New York theater world during the '70s left her feeling dwarfed.
"I was intimidated by her," says Quinlan. "Dixie was a stalwart theater mademoiselle in New York -- so self-assured on the stage, but she has this little twinkle in her eyes which lets you know she's letting you in on a little secret."
Having battled painful arthritis for years, Carter claims she never considered herself as strong or as brave as the powerful women she's played on television -- including her Designing alter-ego Julia Sugarbaker, and now, Randi. "Physically, I think I'm kind of wimpy, delicate--very fragile," says Carter, whose older brother Halbert succumbed to multiple sclerosis in June. "Even my bones are very strangely tiny."
But fragile bones won't stop Carter from protecting her beloved series from critical attacks. She is determined to alter perceptions of Family Law as a second-rate legal drama. "We're not in the [cool] club yet," she acknowledges. "A couple of reviews used the word 'formulaic' -- another formulaic hour show about lawyers. I don't think it is."
And as for the television academy, which has ignored the series, Carter rationalizes, "It's par for the course for me. Designing Women never won any Emmys except one for hair, nor was nominated, though I think Delta got nominated for her show about being overweight. Awards are not important at all . . . unless you win one. And wouldn't that be just lovely?"
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